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~The Oldenkamp Family

Monday, July 5, 2010

A Bonding Moment

Since the beginning, Judah has seemed to bind to us without a problem. He really does love us and is happy here. On the other hand, I haven't bonded to him as quickly. For a long time I felt like I was baby sitting someone else's child. I struggled with getting easily frustrated and not feeling the compassion I thought I would. It's way better, in case you were beginning to wonder. Yesterday Judah and I had a conversation which I feel has changed my heart a lot.

We were at my parents house and Judah followed me to the bathroom. Since he had been talking more openly about Ethiopia I decided to ask some questions. I asked if he wanted to go to Ethiopia and he said "no." I asked "why not?" and he responded, "Cause I want to be here." I told him that if he ever goes back to Ethiopia that Mommy, Daddy, Liam and Gabriel will go with him. He smiled and said that he wanted to go to Ethiopia. I asked him why he changed his mind. He said, "Cause mommy and Gabriel going with me." My heart melted! He loves Ethiopia but doesn't want it if it means leaving us. I reassured him that I was going to be his mommy forever and he wouldn't lose me. We had some hugs and kisses and "I love yous." It was a moment totally orchestrated by God himself!

3 comments:

Shiari seagren said...

Thanks for sharing this Kami, it is totally normal for you not to feel for Judah what you feel for your biological children. It doesn't mean you love him less just different. WhenThom and I were dating I had a really hard time with loving Woody and I really beat myself up over it and it almost ruined our marraige. But God is so much bigger then that. He knows how he would like you to love Judah and he will create those moments for you to learn from. He is the unlimited teacher and lover of Judah and of you. I think we just have ideas in our head of how things "should" be and
are really hard on ourselves when they are "off"
Hang in there things will get better and better.

Natalie said...

That is so sweet! :o) I'm so excited for y'all and it really is so cool to see how much Judah loves you and your entire family!

Demarie said...

Beautiful...what a sweet boy! The love for each of my three children has come differently for me, even though two are biological. And it continues to grow and change as each gets older.