Security Issues?

These are a few signs of healthy attachment (Judah shows all these signs although a couple weren't right away)

* Displays age appropriate anxiety at brief separation from primary caregiver but is able to be reassured.

* Reunites happily with primary caregiver with eye contact and physical contact.

* Show signs of feeling safe in social situations; able to play and interact with others, but stays close and checks in with primary caregiver regularly but not in an anxious or desperate way.

* Is okay with primary caregiver leaving the room for short periods of time. Conversely, cares that primary caregiver has left the room and shows happiness when that person returns.
http://www.a4everfamily.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=153&Itemid=71

We've left Judah with his brothers in the care of others numerous times now, mostly at our home but a few times in children's church. He does really well and is always happy to see us when we return. So, what's the issue? Gabriel !! Yeah, I never thought Gabriel would have these issues with Judah being here. I thought that maybe Liam might show jealousy signs (which he hasn't) but Gabriel's always so oblivious that I thought a new child would be no big deal for him. Well, Gabriel often scolds Judah for things and pushes him around. I now have to sneak out when I leave Gabriel with a sitter because he will bawl his little eyes out when I leave. I left him with Grandparents to take Liam and Judah to gymnastics and Gabriel sobbed! I am realizing how much individual attention Gabriel needs. It has been unexpected but I am glad I am not totally oblivious to it.

Music

We brought a little MP3 player to Ethiopia for Judah and he loved it. Well, it's become quite a staple for naps and bedtime. He falls asleep listening to it. We have to sneak in after he's asleep and turn it off because we're going through batteries like crazy. We put on Veggies Tales worship along with a mix of children's church songs. It warms my heart when I hear Judah singing along with the music. I am not sure how much he understands but he's good at repeating what he hears. I hear him humming the songs, singing Deep and Wide and Hallelujah. It was the best purchase we've made for him thus far. After a while we had to go back and buy Liam one too and we put the same music on it. I don't mind my boys having their little head phones on since they're learning worship songs.

"Honeymoon Stage"

So, when it comes to adoption you'll here the phrase "Honeymoon Stage" which is referring to how well things might go at the very beginning of bringing your child home. This, of course, implies that this honeymoon will come to an end and things will get harder. I think I have realised that our situation with Judah "might" (and I say this with my fingers crossed and praying I'm right) be the opposite of this. Our first week and a half home were hard. Granted, Dave and I were trying to adjust back to CO time but it was tough. Judah threw fits (kicking and screaming) daily. He pushed every limit imaginable. He bit both of his brothers at some point and would pinch and hit them if he was upset. All of these things have gotten better. He respects us more and is really learning how to share and wait his turn. His fits are less often and much shorter as I think he's realizing he won't get what he wants all the time. So, are we entering the "honeymoon stage" now after 4 weeks home? It feels like it. I am not complaining by any means. I just pray that things stay the way they are now and only get better. Don't get me wrong, we still have our days (like yesterday!) but over all Judah has come so far in only 5 weeks in our care. Praise God!

It's a process

We put Liam and Judah into gymnastics which started last night. Judah is quite the gymnast if he puts his mind to it but he kept getting distracted by other things in the large room. I had to be near him for part of it to keep him focussed but over all I think both boy really enjoyed the class. The thing about this is that Judah may not really end up learning much in the way of gynmastics but I think it's good for him to learn how to listen and obey other people. He's gone to Sunday school the past two weeks as well and done great without Dave or me there. We are planning on putting him into kindergarten this fall and I want to have peace that he won't run off (he likes to just leave the group and do his own thing, often trying to leave the room/building) and that he will somewhat obey his teacher. So, this is a process we know might take some time. This class as well as Sunday school will be a good start and we hope that he's ready for school this fall.