Just passed 9 months

Nine months ago last Monday (Nov 1st) was Judah's "Gotcha" day. We met him for the first time face to face. . .what a day that was. A lot has changed in 9 months. He changes a lot from one month to the next. One of the most common first questions from new people that we meet is, "Did he know English when you got him?" When we tell them he knew ZERO English they are shocked. He knows it so well that he communicates better then his over 2 1/2 year old brother who was born and raised in it. His hair is super long now since we haven't cut it once yet. He looks bigger and older with more hair, in my opinion. It's been tough to take care of at this length and it's not fun to "pick" out in the morning. So, I'm thinking we need to trim it but I'm nervous to try it myself. This is a picture of him from today. He was in the bath tub and after conditioning it's easy to pick out and is the biggest the fro gets.

He can write his name now which makes me proud. He's learning letters and numbers. He's doing well in school and I think he'll be ready for 1st grade next year. He's made a few friends: Ambro, Brooklyn, Giovanni. He really seems to respect his teacher and she loves him. She's great! Communicating with her is wonderful and she really listens and respects us.


This is Judah with Mrs. Payton during his first Parent/Teacher meeting.

Birth Grand Mother

Judah shared about Ethiopia a couple nights ago. He said him and his grandma ran away from a tiger and the tiger was slow. He said the police would shoot the tigers with machine guns. He said that where he lived there was poop everywhere and it was gross. This was the first time he shared about his birth grandmother. He said she made him yucky food and gave him dirty water. We encouraged him that she did her best but couldn’t get anything better. We told him that she wanted him to be well, have a mom and dad to take good care of him so he could have lots of food and a house to live in. She wanted him to be happy but when we asked if he was happy he said, “No. I’m sad cause I miss her. Can we go there to see her?” Later on that evening I told him I was sorry he was sad and missed her but he said, “It’s ok cause I will go there soon.” I told him we would go some day but he’ll be much older by then. I didn’t tell him that his grandma would most likely be gone by then.

Kindergarten

Judah finished his first week of school. It's still so crazy to me that I have a kindergartner! He did great, loved his teacher and she adores him. They did test on Friday to see where Judah is and then they can see his progress when they do the test again at the end of the year. He didn't do well but Mrs. Payton said that there are a larger percentage of kids who score the same as Judah and they've been in America since birth. She is in awe at his language skills after only 6 months with us.
The biggest adjustment for both Judah and myself is that starting tomorrow he goes full days M/T/TH/F. Not every child goes full days but Judah was one whom they thought needed it. I hope he does ok cause 8:50 to 3:50 is a long day. I just can't wait to see how he learns and grows!

A Bonding Moment

Since the beginning, Judah has seemed to bind to us without a problem. He really does love us and is happy here. On the other hand, I haven't bonded to him as quickly. For a long time I felt like I was baby sitting someone else's child. I struggled with getting easily frustrated and not feeling the compassion I thought I would. It's way better, in case you were beginning to wonder. Yesterday Judah and I had a conversation which I feel has changed my heart a lot.

We were at my parents house and Judah followed me to the bathroom. Since he had been talking more openly about Ethiopia I decided to ask some questions. I asked if he wanted to go to Ethiopia and he said "no." I asked "why not?" and he responded, "Cause I want to be here." I told him that if he ever goes back to Ethiopia that Mommy, Daddy, Liam and Gabriel will go with him. He smiled and said that he wanted to go to Ethiopia. I asked him why he changed his mind. He said, "Cause mommy and Gabriel going with me." My heart melted! He loves Ethiopia but doesn't want it if it means leaving us. I reassured him that I was going to be his mommy forever and he wouldn't lose me. We had some hugs and kisses and "I love yous." It was a moment totally orchestrated by God himself!

Jesus in Ethiopia

After praying over dinner


Judah: Mom, Jesus in my Epiopia.
Liam: You have Jesus in Epiopia?
Judah: Liam, you can come to my Epiopia.
Liam: Yeah, I will go to Epiopia when I get big.

A Story about Ethiopia

A couple days ago we were at a graduation party and on the family's property was a cow. Judah was thrilled and not at all shy or afraid of it. At one point he pointed to the cow's hoof and said, "It's owie!" I said, "No, it's his hoof." he responded, "No, it kicks, it's owie! In Epiopia (Ethiopia) cow is kick me. Bonk head, it's ouch!" This is the first time Judah's ever shared a story about being in Ethiopia. What a crazy story!! When I tried to encourage him to tell Dave the story later on he also went on to talk about the cars in Ethiopia. It was so wonderful to hear him recount his country and memories he had. He hasn't talked about people yet so we'll see if that is something he eventually shares with us.

Kindergarten

Last week we went to "Kindergarten-Round-Up" with Judah. All the little kiddos went off with the different teachers to have a snack and draw a picture while we stayed and filled out paperwork. We had to talk to the nurse about Judah's immunization records and get a waver. We talked to the about Judah's English and found out they have ELL (English Language Learning) which he's get 45 minutes a day 4 days a week. They start all the kids at half days for the first week and them certain kids move onto to full days 4 days a week. I was impressed by what I saw and heard and think it'l be a gret little place for Judah. I teared up a couple times thinking about sending him off to school. I can't believe I will have a kindergartener!! Anyway, when we went to pick him up the teacher in that room loved him and said she hopes he ends up in her room. :-)

Language update & prayer

Judah is using more personal pronouns now which is a great change in his language. He's used "I" for a while ("I yub it!")but yesterday he used "me". All the boys are good at tattling on each other and Judah would typically just say, "Mom, Biam. . ." and pat whatever part of his body got hurt. Yesterday Judah said,"Mom! Biam hit me." He doen't speak in Bench or Amharic anymore. He's replaced all his typical words with the English words. This means that he repeats the same stuff all day long since his English is still limited campared to other 5 year olds. It's exciting to see the changes in him and how much he's progressed in a little over ten weeks.

We pray at every meal and before bed and Judah's taken a huge interest in it and now wants to be the one who prays. THis morning he prayed before breakfast and this is what it sounded like:
"Jesus, brepast (Breakfast), pasta, banana, Jesus, Gabriel, Daddy, Amen."
No, we didn't have pasta for breakfast but he is learning to be specific when he speaks so he tried to name foods that he can say.

Almost 9 weeks of English

Judah's English is quite impressive for only 8 weeks and 3 days home. Here is just a handful of what he's saying:

Oh my gosh
I lub (love)it
juice
hungry
pasta
cheese burger
car
wow
watch it
movie
it's big
outside
cold
Bailey
Cleo
it's not funny
gummy bears
monkey
this one
sit down
go bye bye
music
open it
don't touch it
I don't like it

Our New Normal and Lifebook video

Life is as crazy as ever with 3 boys 5years old and under but I think this is it. . .the new normal. We are so used to having Judah around that most times I forget that people see us differently. We get a lot of looks and smiles when we're out in public and often times it will hit me, "Oh yeah, we have two white boys and a little African boy." This isn't a typical sight in Grand Junction, CO. So far it's all positive comments which is good. But I just forget that we are not the norm.

Judah's really part of this family like he has been here since the beginning. He is sleeping great, enjoying his brothers, obeying more then at the beginning. It just feels like he should have always been with us. :-)

A couple days ago our adoption agency sent us our video lifebook. We saw the hut were Judah was born and lived with his family. They interviewed his uncle and his Grandmother. We found out that Judah's uncle has 10 kids from his two wives but didn't feel like he could afford to take J in. Judah's dad died right after he was born and his mom died when J was 3 and shortly after his BROTHER was born. His brother from a different father died as an infant. A lot of this info we never knew until we watched this video. Judah's grandmother talked about how much she loves him and wants him to be taken care of. She says that Judah was her favorite granchild (out of 11). So sweet! The uncle said that J was always sick and they worried about him. It was emotional to watch this but quite amazing to think that he is now doing so well and happy and healthy. If the grandmother hadn't relinquished him, he most likely wouldn't have lived long. God knew he needed us. Thank you, Grandmother, for being willing to give him a good life!!

Security Issues?

These are a few signs of healthy attachment (Judah shows all these signs although a couple weren't right away)

* Displays age appropriate anxiety at brief separation from primary caregiver but is able to be reassured.

* Reunites happily with primary caregiver with eye contact and physical contact.

* Show signs of feeling safe in social situations; able to play and interact with others, but stays close and checks in with primary caregiver regularly but not in an anxious or desperate way.

* Is okay with primary caregiver leaving the room for short periods of time. Conversely, cares that primary caregiver has left the room and shows happiness when that person returns.
http://www.a4everfamily.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=153&Itemid=71

We've left Judah with his brothers in the care of others numerous times now, mostly at our home but a few times in children's church. He does really well and is always happy to see us when we return. So, what's the issue? Gabriel !! Yeah, I never thought Gabriel would have these issues with Judah being here. I thought that maybe Liam might show jealousy signs (which he hasn't) but Gabriel's always so oblivious that I thought a new child would be no big deal for him. Well, Gabriel often scolds Judah for things and pushes him around. I now have to sneak out when I leave Gabriel with a sitter because he will bawl his little eyes out when I leave. I left him with Grandparents to take Liam and Judah to gymnastics and Gabriel sobbed! I am realizing how much individual attention Gabriel needs. It has been unexpected but I am glad I am not totally oblivious to it.

Music

We brought a little MP3 player to Ethiopia for Judah and he loved it. Well, it's become quite a staple for naps and bedtime. He falls asleep listening to it. We have to sneak in after he's asleep and turn it off because we're going through batteries like crazy. We put on Veggies Tales worship along with a mix of children's church songs. It warms my heart when I hear Judah singing along with the music. I am not sure how much he understands but he's good at repeating what he hears. I hear him humming the songs, singing Deep and Wide and Hallelujah. It was the best purchase we've made for him thus far. After a while we had to go back and buy Liam one too and we put the same music on it. I don't mind my boys having their little head phones on since they're learning worship songs.